thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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