Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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