I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
