thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
