So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
