Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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