Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
