Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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