Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Vodka?
Forever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
