i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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