how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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