I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
