That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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