I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
