New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
