a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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