also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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