Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
