Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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