Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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