I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
