I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We have started to decorate penises.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
