You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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