i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
