whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
