I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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