soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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