He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
