She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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