This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
