you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
