Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You took a bar mat shot.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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