I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
