...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
