I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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