Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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