Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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