in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize