To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
