Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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