wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
