I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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