Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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