i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
