You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize