Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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