her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
someone owes me an orgasm
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
