well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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