I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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