no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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