Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
