are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
