it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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