Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
