I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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