Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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