she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
