and you said cock pushups were impossible
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
