so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
