PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
As shirtless as possible
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
