Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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