I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
